7:00 - And we're off! Billy Bush (who you may remember actively ruining the Globes not long ago) chats with people about things we don't care about, occasionally mentioning movies. When he finds time to get over the fact that it's raining and bug celebrities about their love lives, he chats to George Clooney (whose beard makes him looks strangely like George Lucas), David Duchovny (goading him over the fact that his wife got a kiss from George Clooney), Gabourey Sidibe, Jeff Bridges, Fergie, Tracy Morgan, Marion Cotillard, Bradley Cooper, Chloe Sevigny, Taylor Lautner (for some reason) and others. They keep employing a "fashion camera" that takes horrendously blurry pictures of the stars' outfits.
7:21 - Morgan Freeman makes the first of I'm sure many comments about no matter how much fun we're having now, we must not forget about what's going on in Haiti.
7:23 - We get it, it's raining! You don't have to comment on it every five seconds as though we're going to forget if you don't keep reminding us.
7:25 - The interviewer attempts to ask Robert Downey, Jr. and Samuel L. Jackson about "Iron Man", and reveals that she clearly has no idea what "Iron Man" was about. RDJ does his best to avoid talking to her, but can't escape her nagging.
7:27 - Note to interviewer: Ricky Gervais's name is not French. You do pronounce the S.
7:29 - Seeing Mariah Carey with all her makeup on again really does highlight how much she disappeared into her character in "Precious".
7:32 - Billy Bush desperately employs the Golden Globe snuggie. Sandra Bullock and her husband try to play it off awkwardly.
7:34 - I wonder if these actors ever get tired of these talk show hosts awkwardly telling them about the roles they played.
7:38 - Just in case we weren't aware, yes, it is raining, and yes, the organizers have done a horrible job of preparing for it by only having a handful of umbrellas. The hosts are apparently physically incapable of not commenting on it at least once per interview.
7:39 - Julia Roberts has earned major cool points in my book for totally calling NBC out on not properly preparing for the show. Billy Bush tries to strike back by commenting that she passed on "The Blind Side". Tom Hanks retorts by observing that the lighting on the interview is awful.
7:42 - Colin Farrell admits to drinking heavily in order to sing for "Crazy Heart". 18 minutes until showtime.
7:54 - Tina Fey: "It's not raining, it's just God crying for NBC."
8:00 - The pre-show is over, and it's time for the actual show! Here we go!
8:01 - Ricky Gervais is still jokingly bitter about Steve Carrell taking his role on "The Office". Going ahead and touting his own series and taking a jab at NBC.
8:03 - Making a few jokes about the necessity of actors. He's on a roll tonight. And of course the obligatory Jay Leno joke.
8:05 - Nicole Kidman (after reminding everyone to support the troubles in Haiti) presents Best Supporting Actress (Film). And the winner is...Mo'Nique (Precious)! No huge surprise there. Nice impassioned speech, very emotional.
8:10 - Best Actress (Comedy/Musical, TV Series) goes to...Toni Collette (United States of Tara).
8:16 - Best Supporting Actor (TV Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie) goes to...John Lithgow (Dexter).
8:20 - Paul McCartney presents Best Animated Feature (for some reason). "Animated films are not just for children. They're also for adults who take drugs." The winner is...Up! Surprise surprise.
8:28 - Kate Hudson presents a clip from "Nine", nominated for Best Picture (Comedy/Musical).
8:29 - Ricky Gervais continues to shill for his own work. "The Invention of Lying" is out Tuesday.
8:30 - Felicity Huffman stammers her way through an introduction of the Philip Burke, president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Happy 67 years.
8:32 - Best Actor (Drama, TV Series) goes to...Michael C. Hall (Dexter). It was recently reported that he's battling cancer. Congratulations to him.
8:35 - Best Actress (Drama, TV Series) goes to...Julianna Marguelies (The Good Wife).
8:42 - Harrison Ford presents a clip from "Up in the Air", nominated for Best Picture (Drama).
8:44 - Best Original Song goes to..."The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)" (Crazy Heart).
8:47 - Best Original Score goes to...Michael Giacchino (Up).
8: 53 - Best Miniseries or TV Movie goes to...Grey Gardens!
8:58 - Tom Hanks insults both Alec Baldwin and Stanley Tucci on his way to introduce a clip from "Julie & Julia", nominated for Best Picture (Comedy/Musical).
9:00 - Colin Farrell presents Best Actress (Comedy/Musical, Film). The winner is...Meryl Streep (Julie & Julia)! She seems rather unstoppable now.
9:09 - Helen Mirren introduces a clip from "Precious", nominated for Best Picture (Drama).
9:10 - Best Actor (Miniseries or TV Movie) goes to...Kevin Bacon (Taking Chance).
9:13 - Best Actress (Miniseries or TV Movie) goes to...Drew Barrymore (Grey Gardens).
9:21 - Cameron Diaz introduces a clip from "It's Complicated", nominated for Best Picture (Comedy/Musical).
9:22 - Best Screenplay (Film) goes to...Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air)!
9:26 - Best Actor (Comedy/Musical, TV Series) goes to...Alec Baldwin (30 Rock). Not available to accept the award due to a charity obligation.
9:32 - Samuel L. Jackson presents a clip from "Inglourious Basterds", nominated for Best Picture (Drama).
9:33 - Sam then introduces Sophia Loren, who gets a standing ovation before presenting Best Foreign Language Film. The winner is...The White Ribbon (Germany).
9:37 - Best TV Series (Drama) goes to...Mad Men!
9:40 - It appears that they're going overtime, because every winner has started getting played off by the music.
9:45 - Taylor Lautner (ugh) presents the clip from "(500) Days of Summer", nominated for Best Picture (Comedy/Musical).
9:45 - Best Supporting Actress (TV Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie) goes to...Chloe Sevigny (Big Love).
9:49 - Halle Berry presents Best Supporting Actor (Film). The award goes to...Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)! Is he a lock for the win?
9:57 - Robert De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio present Martin Scorsese with the Cecil B. DeMille Award. This is long overdue. Truly a master filmmaker.
10:00 - An excellent montage of Scorsese's greatest hits, along with a sneak peek at "Shutter Island".
10:04 - Scorsese gives an eloquent speech about the importance of collaboration and preserving film. The world of cinema as a whole is far richer for all of this man's output. Congratulations.
10:12 - Jodie Foster introduces a clip from "The Hurt Locker", nominated for Best Picture (Drama).
10:14 - Mel Gibson presents Best Director (Film). And the award goes to...James Cameron (Avatar)! Didn't see that one coming.
10:19 - Best TV Series (Comedy/Musical) goes to...Glee!
10:25 - The cast of "The Hangover" introduces a clip from "The Hangover", nominated for Best Picture (Comedy/Musical).
10:26 - Reese Witherspoon presents Best Picture (Comedy/Musical). And the winner is...The Hangover! Bit of a surprise there.
10:33 - Arnold Schwarzenegger introduces a clip from "Avatar", despite being unable to pronounce it properly.
10:35 - Mickey Rourke presents Best Actress (Drama, Film). And the winner is...Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side). How about that.
10:39 - Sally Hawkins presents Best Actor (Comedy/Musical, Film). And the winner is...Robert Downey, Jr. (Sherlock Holmes)! Best speech of the night. Sarcastically not thanking everyone. Beautiful.
10:46 - Kate Winslet presents Best Actor (Drama, Film). And the winner is...Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)! Congratulations sir!
10:55 - Julia Roberts presents Best Picture (Drama). And the winner is...Avatar! Go figure. This one has a serious shot at winning the Oscar now. Way to shake up the race.
11:00 - And that's a wrap! It's been an interesting show with several surprise winners. One of the more entertaining shows in recent years. Thanks for following, and have a great night.